He smiled once in 1987 and hasn’t recovered since.
This tee was made for the man who’s allergic to small talk, suspicious of compliments, and deeply offended by unsolicited joy.
SMILES.™ isn’t just a statement — it’s a warning label. Perfect for grumpy dads, retired grumps, or that sarcastic uncle who only chuckles once per season (usually at his own joke).
Crafted for quality over fluff, this shirt is softer than Grandpa’s recliner and tougher than his stubborn opinions. Whether he's sipping black coffee on the porch or pretending to nap to avoid conversations, this is his official uniform.
🎁 Perfect Gift For:
• Husbands who recoil at happy hour invites
• Grandpas who only smile for grandkids (and even then, reluctantly)
• Uncles who only laugh at their own dad jokes
• Anyone whose joy threshold is one chuckle per quarter
⚠️ Warning Label:
May cause emotional confusion, brief expressions of delight, and immediate regret. If seen smiling, assume sarcasm. Proceed with caution.
📖 Grumpy But Godly:
He might smirk. He might sigh.
But his loyalty never wavers.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine...” – Proverbs 17:22
(He’s just on a low dose.)
🪵 Seriously Soft Tee:
Crafted from premium Bella+Canvas 3001 stock, this tee is made with 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton for serious softness and durability.
• Preshrunk for the perfect fit
• Designed, dyed & cut right here in the U.S.A.
• Heather colors contain a touch of polyester — for extra stretch and that broken-in feel
• U.S.A. Strong – Designed, dyed, and cut in the USA
• Ethically Made – Fair Labor Association & Platinum WRAP certified
